Topics: Self-discovery Calm Productivity People dimension
I have a friend (whom we’ll call Dan) who does well. Yet he’s utterly lost.
From the outside, Dan appears successful. He works on projects, has a full schedule, and buys shiny new toys. It seems his goal is to Become extraordinary to create happiness — a noble one. But its not working.
The grind is protective. The work is a proof of worth; a trauma-driven perfectionism. He’s fighting hard to not drown, but not swimming to shore. There’s no coherent direction, nor search for it. Dan is effective in no meaningful way.
The result? Dan claims money doesn’t lead to happiness. Yet he buys ostentatious shows of wealth. He plays status games (which, spoiler, don’t work). It’s a deep-seated disorientation.
Busy people waste time, and slowing down would solve that. But thrashing is deeper. Busy people at least have a direction; their problem is time management. Lost people need to stop, not merely slow down.
I wish he’d take a sabbatical or vacation to Align with being through personal discovery — but of course he is “too busy” for that. The most heartbreaking part of my friendship with Dan is that he believes he is truly above the rest. His observant peers think, by what metric? He claims to want a large yacht one day, and if anyone could get it, its Dan. But will anyone return his calls for the first voyage? Worse — will he enjoy his own yacht?